I Regret This Phase
It’s not a poem or a story. It is a feeling.
“The water was salty but I loved to drink it.”
There was a time where I used to get drowned in work so much that I almost forgot what it was like to breathe. The little breaks in between to breathe in the air felt like a lifetime of happiness to me. But I knew I was accountable for everything I do, therefore I used to go back underwater. Somehow how much I used to work didn’t seem to affect me at all in continuing the very next day. It felt like if I was the Captain Jack Sparrow of the Sea and the Great storm didn’t seem to affect me at all. I used to get all energized every single day. Whenever I used to think I couldn’t do it some magical driving force used to make me explore more of the Sea. I wasn’t alone at that time, could be an explanation as I was with my crew. We know the sea by another name — the sea of hard work.
One day I landed on an island that I thought would be lively but now is my greatest nightmare — pleasure. People think differently when they walk on it. Some think they are in heaven or this is where they are supposed to be living. But I thought that I would learn about this island and how I can use it for myself to learn new things. I tried different things present on it and it got me pleasure as well. But I never continued with a single activity for more than a day. I don’t know what I did on the island was natural or the right way to do it. The different fruits that grew on the island were enough to keep me busy all day. Day after day I kept forgetting my sea by a percent. I thought I had plenty of time to explore the island. On the other side, I tasted every fruit and there was no one kind of fruit but fruits of different flavors. The more I had, the more I wanted to have. But wait a minute, did I tell you that I had lost all my crew by the time I realized that I forgot the taste of the sea. The taste of the fruits was so exhilarating and thrilling that I forgot about everything outside of me. I mean when did I become so self-centered without me even realizing it.
The time that I realized that I have been trapped on this I have been constantly trying to get off this scary island where pleasure feels like pain. The pain of choosing every time to get pleasure is unexplainable. I have tried building a boat once to get off this, but I terribly failed when I returned halfway from the Sea to eat the fruit. The thing that I realized the I took hard work — Oops, I mean the Sea for very granted. I sometimes feel like I will escape this island, but I just lose the hope of ever seeing myself working again. I have learned a lot of lessons while being on this despicable pleasure-filling island, but I always fail at doing anything to escape from this.
The thing is that I will never escape this island which is the truth. I just want to taste the Sea again.
( We are not robots that we will be working all day, but we are also neither rats nor monkeys that we will be pleasuring ourselves all day. )
We work for three-fourth of our life so that we earn a moment of happiness. When we don’t earn it gets turned into an addiction of happiness which is regretful and unescapable. I hope that I am able to earn some of my future happiness by spending time at the sea.
